The Cheesecake Factory Serves Manna From Heaven

The Cheesecake Factory recently opened near us and my life is now complete.  Oh sure, before it opened its doors, I had a pretty good life;  beautiful wife, a good job, a five-year-old son, and a nice house in the suburbs.  

But something was missing.  

And that something was cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory (CF).

It's easy to get distracted by the hundreds of delicious entrees on the CF menu and how they are able to master so many different cuisines.  I've had quesadillas that rival any Tex-Mex joint, teriyaki chicken that beats Chinatown, shrimp that tasted so fresh I thought they might have been boiled alive like lobsters, and burgers that make McDonald's taste like spoiled food thrown out after a shift change.  I've often wondered if they have a chef from every country in the world cooking in the kitchen.    

At the very back of the menu lies the pot of gold:  30+ different types of cheesecake, each waiting to explode flavor into your mouth.  Except for the low carb cheesecake.  Seriously, who goes to the CF and orders low carb cheesecake?  You don't go to the CF while on a diet; you go to the CF to cheat on your diet.  To their credit, the CF does have a 'Skinnylicious Menu,' but it's best used as a coaster for your large, sugary drink.

Here is a list of the top #5 cheesecakes at the CF.  It's just my opinion, but I believe my taste buds are better than yours' and I've been trying a different cheesecake every weekend since they opened.  

#5 - Peppermint Bark Cheesecake

Imagine if Santa showed up to your house on Christmas with a Lexus made of peppermint with a tank full of chocolate gas, then told you to take it for a spin.  It begins to melt while you're driving it and you just sit there in the middle of the road, eating it as jealous drivers drive past.  

#4 - Fresh Banana Cream Cheesecake

If there were a Hunger Games starring monkeys from the different districts of Panem, this would be the prize.

#3 -  White Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Nut Cheesecake

        

     

I'm not a big fan of white chocolate or caramel, but that didn't matter once I tasted this concoction.  If this was a pop star, it would be a combination of Michael Jackson and Lady Gaga with Justin Bieber on top.

#2 - OREO Dream Extreme Cheesecake

If you've ever told yourself you'd stop after just one Oreo, only to find yourself chugging Pepto after eating the entire bag, this cheesecake is for you.  Just when I think there is no way they can pack another Oreo into it, I bite into another one!  This one belongs in the Oreo Hall of Fame.

#1 - Hershey's Chocolate Bar Cheesecake

Pretend for a moment that you are a resident of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and you are ordered to evacuate after an explosion at the nearby Hershey plant.  Would you flee to safety or stay behind just in case a river of chocolate comes flowing through town?  I would grab a spoon and hit main street!  Words can't describe how good this cheesecake is, you just have to try it for yourself.  Be warned, you'll need two bottles of Pepto followed by a Maalox chaser if you finish the whole thing.

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